Stretch denim – do we love or do we hate?

It’s a real catch 22 for me, and it basically comes down to whether I want to look cool or whether I want my butt to be supported by the suction cup strength of stretch denim…. I’m not going to lie it’s a tough call.

However, it appears that rather than continuing my search for the perfect jeans that conceal all that I want to hide from humanity and flaunt only what I like – I’ve decided to end my quest and terminate my futile attempts to stretch the truth with stretch denim.

Enter the ‘honesty’ jeans. Also known as ‘mom’ or you know less creatively ‘Levi’s’.

Where nothing, and I do mean nothing, is obscured in a good way. For men’s jeans, they really know how to give that victorian silhouette of a small waist and a big tulip like cascade down the body. Tulip butt, hmmm mmm.

I am talking about the specific cut of the 501’s, which I do love so very much, but it’s fun to reflect on the rationale of why. As they aren’t the most flattering of cuts, but what they lack in flattery they make up for in effortlessness.

Making a clear statement that we’re not trying to ingratiate ourselves with body-con denim, instead we flatter ourselves by appearing above the effort of the permanent wedgies dolled out by tight denim and appeasing the voyeuristic desires of the male gaze. That’s right the honesty jeans are honestly feminist too. Chicks rule etc.

Damn the patriarchal camel toe and all hail the jeans that really define your butt crease.

And I mean even though you’re buying into a trend that has engulfed 1/3 of the entire female population, it still appears that you don’t give a shit and so that’s flattering I bet. Perfect first date attire. If your self confidence is going down you want to bring everyone else’s down with you, which means making your date think he’s not worth the extra 10 minutes of effort, putting on another outfit. It sounds cruel but really it’s the game of love.

I know I’ve bolstered the effects of stretch denim, but I felt that it was important for dramatic effect. Non-stretch is actually in my opinion far more flattering as they let the fabric shape the body rather than the body shape the fabric. However, when they’re designed for men and sitting away from the body, the knock on effects will probably be that your butt looks bigger but a big butt is a small price to pay to look effortlessly chic.

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